Iguana
by autumnangelwrites
Summary: Damian doesn't even know why he tries. Pointless fluff.


**_A/N:_** _Hey guys! In an attempt to help me get out of my writing slump, my roommate has decided to give me a 20 Day Challenge of sorts. Unfortunately, this means she picks the words, so I end up with a bunch of weird prompts. My current obsession is Batman, but I'm very new to the franchise and my characterizations aren't always spot on. Let me know if there's anything I can do to improve them! For now, enjoy some pointless fluff._

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 **1\. Iguana**

"Dami, quick, look over here!"

Damian turned and tsked, completely unimpressed in the face of his mentor's enthusiasm. A crowd of eager kindergarteners separated the two, but the distance didn't seem to damper Dick's spirit at all. He was particularly pleased with himself at the moment, having realized that the Manhattan Zoo served as an optimal location for another one of his stupid attempts at bonding. Damian was actually far from impressed—the animals were trapped within the confines of cages and far too domesticated to put up the proper fight that _that_ warranted—but the attractions were as clean as could be expected and the animals seemed relatively healthy, so Damian let Dick have his small victory with minimal struggle.

They had made their way around to the shady reptile house, near the center of the part. The change in temperature brought on by the shade was welcome. The squeals and shoves, courtesy of the small hoard of children, were decidedly not.

Dick seemed to be unbothered by the noise and activity, his face gleefully smooshed against the large display case, cooing softly despite the thick sheet of glass separating him from the creature of his affection. Despite his better judgement, Damian sighed and picked his way through the crowd to join the overgrown idiot. If nothing else, he could usher his mentor away from the poor creature.

The object of Dick's affection was a large, fat iguana. It appeared to be sprawled on a rock, absorbing waves of heat from a lamp hidden within the tropical habitat. Damian raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. The iguana kept still, seemingly just as unimpressed.

"Grayson…" Damian found himself at a loss, unable to find what was so striking about this specific reptile. He paused for a moment, then adequately summed up his exasperation with a short, heartfelt, " _why?_ "

"It kind of looks like you, doesn't it?" Dick mused, tapping on the glass despite the numerous signs that warned against it. The iguana continued to bask, completely unbothered. Damian jerked back from the glass, insulted.

"It does not!"

"Sure it does!" Damian could see Dick's shit-eating grin reflected back to him in the glass. It did not improve his mood. "C'mon, Dami, throw a little yellow and red on him and he could be your twin!"

"Grayson, stop this nonsense!" Damian took a step away from his mentor, edging closer to the snakes. The snakes wouldn't insult him as such. Turning to examine a pretty gold one, he murmured to himself, "As if I could be compared such an average reptile."

The snicker to his left indicated that he hadn't spoken quiet enough.

"No, but look!" Dick tried again, eager to draw his partner back to his side, "he's even got little spikes! And the little plaque by the wall says that he's vegetarian. You two have so much in common!"

Damian leaned over to check the information plaque as well.

"This iguana is most comfortable in a tropical climate. We aren't similar at all."

"But Dami, he can jump from heights of forty feet! I bet he could give Killer Croc a run for his money. Plus, he has these wicked sharp teeth and I still have that mark from when you bit me mid-spar last week—"

"You _said_ any means necessary—"

"—and so I think that you and Mr. Greenie here—"

"Grayson, you're being _ridiculous—_ "

"—could really make a great team."

" _Grayson."_

"Oh wait, the plaque says they grow to be six feet. Maybe you aren't as similar as I thought."

The crowd of kindergarteners watched in fascination as the young boy propelled the laughing man out of the reptile house, spewing forbidden curses the whole way. The den mothers exchanged a glance, then heaved a sigh and ushered the kids off to lunch.


End file.
